


Heroes of Olympus: Xena Warrior Princess

by xreyskywalkersolo



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Jordan has fun with Greek and Roman mythology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xreyskywalkersolo/pseuds/xreyskywalkersolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Seven, Reyna and Nico watch Xena. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this lying around for forever and decided to post it. Hope you enjoy.

The first time they watch it’s just Nico and Reyna.

One month after the battle with Gaea, Nico was still drained from so much shadow-traveling, which meant that any kind of strenuous activity was out of the question, but even though he’d been spending a lot of time with Will in the infirmary, the son of Hades was starting to get bored. Reyna had gone back to Camp Jupiter to help set things straight, but after getting almost everything back in working order, or at least well on its way to being such, she’d asked Frank if he minded her taking a break and heading cross-country to New York. Jason had stepped in and offered to stay at the camp while Reyna was gone until Frank felt comfortable being praetor on his own--an offer both Frank and Reyna gratefully accepted--and so that was how Reyna and Nico found themselves in the Big House watching  _ Xena: Warrior Princess  _ on the brand-new flatscreen TV that the Hephaestus cabin had built.

“When did you say you watched this again?” Nico asked as he carefully poured a steaming bag of popcorn into a big plastic bowl. 

“Last winter, I broke my leg pretty badly and had to spend a week in bed,” Reyna explained, opening her can of Coke with a hiss. “I didn’t have anything to do, so I started watching this show because it’s based in mythology. Mostly. They take a few, um….liberties.”

Nico wasn’t too bothered by the thought; mortals rarely got everything right when it came to Greek and Roman gods. That stupid Disney movie about Hercules was perfect proof. “I think I might have heard of this show somewhere.”

“It was very popular back when it aired in 1994.” Reyna seated herself on the couch. “Ready?”

Nico plopped next to her with the popcorn, and Reyna offered him a can of Diet Coke before turning the TV on. In addition to the HD screen and top-notch stereo system, the TV was enchanted to play whatever its user wanted, and so she had no difficulty finding the pilot episode. “Fair warning, this gets pretty cheesy,” Reyna said, settling back as the opening scene began to play.

After everything they’d been through, a little cheese sounded just fine to Nico.

\----

“Is that even possible?” Nico asked, watching with interest as Xena jabbed her fingers into a soldier’s neck and cut off the blood flow to his brain.

“Who knows? Like I said, this show is pretty cheesy.” Reyna grabbed another handful of popcorn. “She uses that technique a lot, though.”

“This Xena woman is pretty cool. I like her.” Nico wasn’t as fond of Gabrielle; she reminded him a lot of the way he was when he met Percy, and although he didn’t have feelings for the older boy anymore, there were still a lot of unpleasant memories there.

“She’s the best. Gabrielle is pretty badass too, once she learns to fight.” Reyna laughed as the scene cut to a shot of Gabrielle dashing across the Cyclops’ bridge. “Oh, I love this part.”

\---

 

Gabrielle, Nico decided as he watched her hold off the mob of villagers, was a very smooth talker. “Can she charmspeak?”

“No, but she might as well be able to. Gabrielle is a bard, or becomes one at least, so she’s pretty good with words.” Reyna snickered as the blonde suggested that Xena was Draco’s girlfriend and received a withering look from the tall warrior. 

“When do the gods come in?”

“Let’s see…..both Ares and Aphrodite are pretty major characters, and I know Zeus, Athena and Hera are in season five. Hades, Strife and Bacchus are in here at some point, Ares shows up in the next few episodes, and Aphrodite….I think she comes in about halfway through the second season,” Reyna said thoughtfully. 

“Dare I ask how accurate they are?”

“Ares and Aphrodite are more or less correct. The others….not so much. Especially Athena.”

Nico didn’t say anything after that, trying not to let his reaction to Xena’s dead brother show. Reyna put a hand on his shoulder and left it there, and it was only once the episode ended that he gently shrugged it off.

  
\---  
  


The second time they watch it, they’re forced to grab some folding chairs and push the couches together.

Reyna has explained to Hazel that Xena and Gabrielle become a couple, more to prepare her than anything else (Hazel is still adjusting to that whole idea, but to her credit she’s very supportive of Nico and has become good friends with Will), but she doesn’t bother announcing it to anyone else; after all,  _ spoilers _ . Nico is actually sort of excited to see how his friends all like it, and also to see his own reaction on the second watch. He and Reyna are already up to the season four finale, and it’s a pretty heavy one; he’s glad for the lighter distraction.

“Isn’t this the one with the lesbians?” Leo instantly gets slapped by Annabeth. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Lesbians?” Percy echoes with a confused look before Annabeth shakes her head and whacks him on the back of his.

“Leo!” Piper scolds. “This was a really great show, way ahead of its time! Don’t just categorize it as ‘The lesbian show’!”

“But seriously, doesn’t it--okay, shutting up now,” Leo mutters as Reyna gives him her best wolf stare. Hazel is blushing and pretending she’s not paying attention to the conversation, and Nico feels a little bit guilty because she’s still not entirely comfortable with this.

“I’ve never heard of this show.” Frank is very obviously trying not to laugh. “Did it air in Canada?”

“Probably. This was really popular from what I heard.” Jason is cleaning his glasses on his black T-shirt. “And the two lead actresses still have a huge fanbase.” 

Everyone looks at him, and he flushes. “What?”

“What have you been doing in your free time?” Leo smirks.

“Everyone shut up,” Reyna says amicably, wedging herself in between Piper and Annabeth. Nico sits next to Jason, who gives him a grin, as if the fact that Nico is sitting next to him is a big deal or something. “Ready?”

They already have three gigantic bowls of popcorn, of course, and this time there are several bags of chips, pretzels and six massive liter bottles of soda. There is a brief cacophony as everyone opens bags, twists lids off of bottles and shakes popcorn onto paper plates, and Reyna waits patiently until it has settled down again. “Fair warning, it’s pretty cheesy,” she says, and Nico feels himself grin.

They have no idea.

\----

 

“Dude, Xena is HOT!”

Of course Leo pipes up three seconds after Lucy Lawless comes on screen. Piper elbows him in the ribs, and he yelps. “Just saying...”

“Her eyes are beautiful,” Hazel agrees.

“They look like yours, Jason.” Piper smiles.

“Is Xena a demigod?” asks Percy.

“Quiet!” Nico demands. “This scene is important.”

It isn’t really; just establishing that Xena used to be a warlord, but if they don’t shut up now then nobody will ever pay attention. 

“Aww, Gabrielle is so cute,” Hazel squeals as the young blonde stands up to the soldiers on screen. “What’s the actress’ name?”

“Renee O’Connor.” Nico, Reyna and Jason answer at the same time. Everyone stares at Jason again, and he reddens. “What? I did some research when Reyna said she wanted to watch the show.”

“Sure you did,” Leo drawls, and this time nobody elbows him.

\----

 

“Lady, she’s trying to help!” Leo yells at the screen as Xena’s mother refuses to listen to her warnings about Draco’s army. 

“I still don’t get the whole chakram thing,” Annabeth muses, clearly puzzled. “It defies physics; even godly weapons don’t do that.”

“It’s a TV show. Don’t think too hard about it,” Percy says.

“I actually like this show.” Frank sounds surprised.

“It gets even better as it goes on,” Nico promises. Reyna not-so-subtly turns the volume up, and begrudgingly they all quiet down.

“So who’s Gabrielle, Piper or Annabeth?” Leo asks a few minutes later. “She’s really good at talking.” The two girls look at each other and grin.

“I dunno, Leo,” Piper replies casually. “I think you talk more than either of us….”

“Yeah, but I’m not pretty enough to be Gabrielle.”

Reyna has to pause it then as the entire group dissolves into a laughing fit.

\---

“So what did you think?” Reyna asks as the end credits begin to roll.

“That fight scene at the end was awesome,” Percy says enthusiastically. “It’s cheesy, yeah, but I like it a lot.”

“Surprisingly enough, I do too,” Annabeth agrees. Frank, Leo, Piper and Jason all follow suit.

“What about you?” Nico turns to look at Hazel.

She’s quiet for a moment. “I’m still not entirely comfortable with……...you know,” she says, looking at him apologetically. “But I really did like the show; Gabrielle is a cutie and Xena reminds me a lot of you, Reyna.”

“Ooh, that’s scary,” Leo says with a theatrical shiver. Reyna gives them all a wolfish grin.

“Call me Praetor Warrior Princess.”

“But you did like it?” Nico asks, and Hazel nods with a smile.

“Great! So we’re decided,” Leo says enthusiastically, bouncing a bit in his seat. “We’ll all keep watching.”

Nico feels a grin creep across his face. These guys have no idea what they’re in for.


	2. Chapter 2

Reyna refused to watch the finale with them. In fact, she flat-out told them not to watch it. 

“Reyna, it’s the finale to the whole show,” Jason says, clearly bewildered. “Why wouldn’t you watch it?”

“Oh, I watched it. And it was awful. Don’t bother, Jason, trust me.”

Nico has to agree. Reyna had given him the same warning, and he’d trusted her, although she had at least deigned to explain why he shouldn’t watch it. The idea of Xena dying still makes him angry; after so much happening in his life, and in the rest of his friends’ lives too, he’d at least hoped the stupid TV show would have a happy ending.

“So we’re just supposed to never know how it ends?” Frank asks, looking puzzled. 

“Feel free to look it up sometime if you want. But trust me on this: Don’t watch the episode.”

\---

 

She should have expected this.

Reyna comes down to breakfast the next morning and is only mildly surprised to see Percy, Piper and Leo looking very sad and, in Leo’s case, ticked off. Piper’s eyes are red, and she thinks she sees Percy blink a few times. The praetor exhales and walks over to the table, feeling both amused and exasperated as the three look up at her. “You watched it, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t expecting that,” Percy says quietly. “I mean, I know what you said, but….”

“That’s so stupid!” Leo yells, flames flickering around his hands, which are thankfully not touching the table. “Why would they just kill her like that??”

“It seems like such a waste.” Piper’s voice is wobbly, and Reyna sits down next to her friend. “They went through all those things together, but in the end...Xena just left Gabrielle.”

“I told you it was horrible.”

“Not that horrible.” Percy listlessly pokes at his breakfast with a fork.

“I told you to listen to Reyna,” Annabeth sighs, shaking her head. “But you were so sure it couldn’t possibly be that bad…”

“I’ve learned to trust Reyna’s judgment,” Jason agrees. 

“I hate sad endings,” Hazel frowns, taking a bite of her apple. “We get so many of them in real life.”

“It’s so stupid! That fire wasn’t her fault, and if the souls would be freed when Xena died, why didn’t she just wait until she died of old age or something? They weren’t going anywhere!” Flames are starting to creep up Leo’s arms at this point, but Percy flicks a finger and the water in Frank’s cup splashes over him and douses it.

“If it makes you feel any better, they were planning a movie,” Jason offers, pushing his glasses up his nose. “There was an argument over the rights and in the end it never happened. But Xena wasn’t supposed to stay dead; AFIN was supposed to be a lead-in for the movie.”

“Whyyyy,” Leo groans, thunking his head on the table.

“Aw man, that sucks,” Percy sighs. “That would have been a kick-ass movie.”

“I hate copyright laws,” Annabeth grumbles. “So much convoluted language.”

“I would have loved to see that movie,” Frank agrees. Piper says nothing, just sniffling and leaning her head against Reyna, and Reyna absently pets the Greek girl’s hair. 

“Well, I think we all agree that sucked,” Percy says a moment later, and there’s a general chorus of assent even from those who didn’t watch. Nico pauses, eyes scanning the group, and then says casually,

“You know…….we could rewatch it.”

“I’m fine with it.”

“Me too.”

“I was at Camp Jupiter when you all watched--which one was it? The one where they all get obsessed with different things?” Jason asks.

“Fins, Femmes, and Gems,” Piper chuckles slightly. “That was a good one.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t get to see the Norse Trilogy because I had praetor stuff to do,” Frank adds.

“So it’s settled then?” Hazel asks.

“Come on, let’s go rewatch the pilot!” Leo whoops, and together they all make a beeline for the TV.

“Just promise me we can skip season five this time….”

“ _ Agreed _ !”


End file.
